Monday Health Check In - 21/01/2019

On Monday's I will be doing a bit of a health review and summary for the prior week. Why? There is a lot of taboo still surrounding medical issues including mental health, womens problems and other health issues and I hope by sharing some of my experiences this might help normalise some things.
I do not want any sympathy for this, I'm just sharing to help others in the same basket and to dispel some of the ridiculous taboos.

I have: Depression, Anxiety, PCOS & Unspecified Abdominal Pain (they can't diagnose a source)

This week I've had the added problem of having a bad back, all the muscles in the top half of my back and in my shoulders seem angry and inflamed. My GP thinks it could relate to an inflammatory response to a virus, the virus could have been so minor I didn't notice it but it still managed to anger my back. Then to top things my sock betrayed me when walking down the stairs causing me to fall and land on my back, OUCH!

The result is this week I've been pretty useless. I can't sit in one position, especially at a desk for more than a few minutes and I have to remember to take anti-inflammatory tablets twice a day. I've spent most of the first half of the week trying to sit very still.

I'm not sure if my back hurting was a trigger but my mental health was crap at the beginning of the week, even walking to the post box was a huge chore and I found myself avoiding being out of the house any more than absolutely necessary.
The pain in my back of course wasn't enough and it had to set off my abdominal pain for a laugh so I dread to think how many painkillers I have taken this week, not more than I'm allowed but it must have been pretty close to the maximum amount.

Thursday I was feeling a lot better and I managed to see a friend which really helped my head a lot and I think I finally started to get my anxiety back under control a bit. 

This weekend I was feeling a bit more mobile so I thought I'd get some long overdue housework started. I had a bit of a clear up in the kids playroom on Saturday and thought I was winning at life. My back and shoulders were still sore but I could move, everything was going to be better.

I was a fool! I think my body found this small amount of hope insulting and come Sunday my entire right arm wasn't working right and felt bruised. Yes I know what you're all saying, I'm an idiot for not just resting but I was getting frustrated with being unable to do anything useful except the laundry and yes you're right, I was an idiot.

Sunday also brought a delightful hamper of stomach cramps. They felt like mega period pains which may seem like no biggie but I haven't had a period since 2015 and simply don't get them so this was unexpected and unwarranted. Sunday was written off and spent reclined on the sofa ignoring the other housework which really needed (and still needs) to be done.

All week though my mental health did improve I seem to have a cloud of doom and gloom hanging over me. Each day has felt like it has been taking place through a heavy filter of meh. This is completely unjustified as apart from my aches and pains the week was reasonably positive, certainly nothing measurably bad has happened it's just the joy of depression deciding to beat me down. The hardest challenge is always pushing through the bad spells and trying so hard not to give in to everything my own head is telling me. Staying home and hiding from the world is not healthy, stopping doing fun things is not healthy, avoiding talking to and seeing people is not healthy.
As is often the way the easy thing is not the right thing to do. Sometimes just existing is like wading through thick soup.


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